Tribute to Mark's Father--Clarence Engelman

Blog posts have been few and far between lately, because we have been spending more time in the panhandle of Oklahoma with Mark's parents. Mark's Mother has done an amazing job of taking care of his Father, who has been in constant pain for years. Just recently Clarence has no longer been able to walk or keep down any food, so he had to go to the Beaver hospital. His family kept a 24-hour vigil at his bed side. This was the same hospital that both Mark and Denisa were born. We were at the hospital on Mark's birthday, so we took a picture of mother and son at the delivery room where they first met 57 years before.

Later that evening, we were at the hospital when Clarence died. Mark and Denisa have another very unusual thing in common. Both of our fathers died on our birthdays.

Beaver County is in a severe drought with no rain since last fall. Minutes after he died, we heard the thunder, and the county got its first rain this year. We teased that Clarence got to heaven and sent the rain.

The days following are a blur of kind friends bringing food by the house, and visits to the funeral home. Every one of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren arrived for the funeral, except for our sweet daughter-in-law. Jordan is just a week away from her first baby's due date, and her doctor wouldn't allow her to travel the six hours from home. Even against his parents' advice, our son Luke (the expectant Father) did make that trip for the funeral. So we had both sons, and our daughter-in-law-to-be in the panhandle to celebrate Clarence's life.

It was a great celebration of a fine man. The choir of grandchildren sang and played the guitar to one of his favorite hymns, "Nearer My God to Thee." As some of them practiced the night before the funeral, the sun was setting at Cap-o-Ranch.

Then the great grandchildren joined them for the song we always use as a prayer before family gathering meals. Clarence would have been so proud to see so many of the people he loved at the front of the church singing, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow . . ."

So even though it has been a sad time, it's also been a time full of blessings. Clarence and Reta's nieces and nephews from all over the United States made quick travel plans to get to Beaver for the funeral. Friends from all over packed the church to pay their last respects. At the end of the service, over thirty family members rose to sing a beautiful four-part acapella version of "Go Ye Now in Peace."

So we are at peace, even though we are sad. It's been a tough couple weeks, but we include Mark's father's obituary to give just a glimpse of this special man's life:

Clarence Lee Engelman was born on August 7, 1926, in Cotton County, Oklahoma—the fourth of six children born to A.A. and Lorna Engelman. The heavens opened up for him on April 20, 2018, as the first rain of the year began to fall on Beaver County. 

He spent his childhood in the small communities of Clara and Farnsworth, Texas, graduating from high school in 1944 in Perryton, Texas. He played the baritone in the high school band, something that all of his children and many of his grandchildren did as well. He was a proud veteran, drafted into the army right after high school. He served in Okinawa during World War II. 

After his honorary discharge, he attended college at Northwestern Oklahoma State University on the GI Bill. That’s where he dropped his lunch tray in the cafeteria, and that cute coed named Reta Bouton helped him clean up the mess. Clarence always said she tripped him. That began their life-long love story.

Their 68-year marriage began August 14, 1949. 

They ran a dairy farm outside of Guymon for six very long months. Then they moved to Beaver to begin a career of ranching with his Father and brothers. He absolutely loved riding horses and working cattle. 

His sons will testify that his driving skill through the pasture was hard on more than one ranch pickup. He was the master at working cattle, and he continued until he was well into his 80’s—even when he had to sit on a tripod stool in the middle of the corral to do it.

He loved ranching, even though he knew he couldn’t make any money that way. On one lean Christmas, Clarence spent much time in the barn, making a set of blocks for his sons using a hand saw and a 2x4. It was a most memorable Christmas, and those blocks are still being used by two more generations of Engelmans.

Clarence’s biggest love was His family. He and Reta had five children together. When those children married, they claimed their spouses as their children as well. They are Bonnie and Arthur Dyer (Beaver, OK), Lucky and Lizzie Engelman (Bulverde, TX); Danny and Cindy Engelman (Beaver, OK); Charlotte Engelman (deceased); and Mark and Denisa Engelman (wherever their motor home is parked). 

They were blessed with 10 grandchildren and their spouses, and 18 great grandchildren.  (When this picture was taken at their 60th wedding anniversary, we thought the family was pretty big. But it has grown considerably over the last eight years, with grandchildren adding seven more babies and three more marriages.)

Clarence and Reta were great supporters of their community. He served as the cattle superintendent at the fair for 5 years, and on the ASC Farm board for several years. They were regular attenders at the Beaver Duster athletic and music performances. Their five children attended Beaver schools. During that time, Clarence served on the school board for ten years. It was during that decade that the Beaver Field House and the Music Building were built. After their children graduated, they had five more grandchildren and two great grandchildren that attended Beaver schools from kindergarten through their senior years. In fact, they had a child, grandchild, or great-grandchild attending Beaver schools continually for sixty-two years—from the time Bonnie started first grade in 1956 until Haleigh will graduate from high school this spring.

Another of Clarence’s skills was flipping his empty dinner plate into the air before the meal. He could catch it before it hit the floor—most of the time. He led his family in prayer before every meal. That included singing the Doxology before family gathering meals. That 4-part harmony gave all of us chills. He led his family to church every Sunday, and he served as secretary/treasurer of Peace Lutheran Church for much of his life. But more importantly, he led his family by example of his love of God and his relationship with Jesus Christ.

He completed confirmation at Bethlehem Evangelical Lutheran Church in Perryton. His confirmation verse from 77 years ago is Psalms 27:4. It seems a fitting way to end his obituary. “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, and to seek him in his temple.”